its odd... if i would take everything down that i think while doing my stuff my readmes would be about sixty pages instead of a crappy paragraph. so, this is an attempt to write while creating.

now, multitasking is hard enough for a computer, but i guess in these days you just have to get used to it anyway. i guess i'm already more multitaskable that a few years ago. at least it seems so.

fun fact: some people think i'm female when they see my stuff. hehe. i would love to see their face when i would stand in front of them, full beard and a cigarette in my mouth. anyway, its fine with me - i take it rather as a compliment then vice versa.

i'm pretty sure that i want to name the picture 'looking glass self'. i'm also rather sure that the title won't hold to long. its an idea, though. the idea comes from the origin of the base picture - its a webcam shot of violet. i saw it and knew i had to do something with it.

while i was on day II something odd happened: violet undressed herself at stileproject.com. woah. now this was something i would not have though of her. mind you, i only knew two pics of her.

so when i started working on the pic again, something changed. i just know that the pic would have come out different if this would not have happened. coincidence? i'm not sure if coincidences exist.

right now i can't say if i'm releasing it - the critical time where i can't say if it works out is still not over. i'm on the ninth photoshop file so far - the first ones were basically cleanups and tryouts in which direction to go.

i'm always such a sucker for symmetry - make something symmetrical and its automatically harmonic. but i should not overdo it too much si i'm trying to keep it nonsymmetrical this time.

montages are like puzzles. you recreate something of your minf with parts of the world. i guess its needless to say that it works best if you have lots of pictures. tons. the question thereby is not what it was before, but what it will look like when you paste it in.

right now the picture is such a overdoes of everthing. lots of stuff going on. metal, flowers, flesh.

roses suck. if you desaturate them, they lock like salad. not that i don't like salad. i just don't want it in my picture.

hmm. i'm oversaturated. not only the picture, but also me in general. tinting sucks also pretty bad. but you can actually use the tinted image as an overlay to get into a certain color direction. not muc. just a nuance.

everthing thats unfinished is in my 'trash' folder. right now its 315 megs. brrr.

when i'm not working on a pic, i'm always looking at the last version once in a while. then the other versions. sometimes it happens that i realise that the image does not get better. then i delete it until it went down.

i brushed all the flowers until they look like plastic. the overall look is somehow already pretty unique, but now its getting into the details. i live for details.

cut. its morning again. sort of. actually its 1:45 pm. well, its morning for me.

i really love to smear and smudge. unluckily, my hand doesn't. i have had some problems with rsi (reeated strain injury) and i have to take care that it won't get serious again. if the pain gets too much to ignore i'm generally stopping all work until it gets better. during that time i'm just reading. nothing more. lately i read a lot.

anyway. the new makai album (stealth) is a bit disappointing. at least until now. well, its a nice crafted dnb album but i was expecting something more. damned expectations can ruin everything. *shrughs*. same syndrome like the last ed rush / optical cd (virus).

funny facts vol.2: actually, i'm always thinking in journal form when i'm doing stuff. yep, call me odd. and i'm thinking in english. guess this comes when 90 percent of the stuff that you read is in english. i'm getting used to it. i have to admit that i really like german. its such an odd language. you can make such crude sentences. i'm still searching to find an adequate form in english but i guess there is nothing that comes close to a kafkaesque german language.

now i know where i got the idea for this log: microserfs. definitely microserfs. and blogs.

also just bought the new knowledge mix cd (well, actually its a mag with a cd included, but forgetthe mag). the disc is the best dnb i heard for a while. upbeat, direct and full of energy.

meanwhile, i'm doing cleanups on the pic. lots of smudging.

i've added blood. sort of. actually its inverted ice that got colorburned. blue -> invert -> redbrown. the structure is really mindblowing. the picture starts getting nasty. like a still life that had a roundevous with a grenade.

just watched 'bringing back the dead'. not a bad movie. but nothing that gives me too much to think.

i already rather satiesfied with the picture - the thing right now is to add proper accentuations. right now the focus is all cluttered around the picture and i want it to get a bit more centered on the main thing. i'm trying serveral white borders and outlines but they don't really work out 100%. well. maybe somthing different. i also have some roseborders which i constantly add and remove.

i'm stuck. brrr.

it 2:28 am. i guess i give it up for today.

just stood up. drum and bass, photoshop and coffee for breakfast. seems like i'm changing the name of the pic to violent vision blue. i like the play of violet (the girl in the pic) and violent, but i'm not sure what the blue should mean. the title is actually the name of a crystal lake cd, which is a sideproject of silke bischoff. i'm wondering if they still do stuff. the last cd was already years ago - but i have to admit that i'm not tht much in the gothic/darkwave/darkpop stuff as i was once, so maybe its already out.

hm. i'm back to lookinglasself. i wasn't too sure what the 'blue' part in the other title could mean. 'violent vision red' was an alternative, though. but i like the fact that you can say lookinglasself as you write it. pretty fast and like one melted word.

i just had a weird dream tonight. i was on a mountain, making my way down when i opened my bag and a pencilcase feel out. it went down a hill which actually looked like i was standing inside of a big sphere. if was falling for a while. then i realised that while it fell down that i actually still have it in my hand. this happened three times. every time a pencilcase split from this in my hand, so i had three pencilcases in my bag. yep, odd.

i'm once again overlaying a previous version, because this one started to get to contrasty.

i just have a nice biblical interpretation for the pic. its the moment where mankind realises itself. the moment the paradise is lost. the fist with my logo is the sin.

still fiddling around with the borderstuff. but this getting somewhere. i'm using designrelated stuff as the framework of the picture. it would just be boring to just have it without it. combination of different stuff is _the_ shit. really.